Wishlist

First, thanks for reading my wish.

I've always tried my best to help others for the simple joy of being beneficial, be the need financial or otherwise.  Now, I find myself in that place you don't imagine yourself ending-up.  It is very overwhelming and insecure. I've lost everything a couple of times in the last decade and managed to bounce back, but this has been a downward spiral and it is the edge of the cliff.

I'm living and working at an old campground in a camping trailer.  It is a barter situation where I trade work for my living space and there is no pay.  I was able to get by with small outside jobs and some leftover savings.  Now, the workload is increasing and the place is up for sale.  With no friends nearby or family, and after checking into every possible service, homelessness looms.  My vehicle needs extensive repairs, plates, insurance, etc., and living in a rural area, the old car is a need and not a luxury.  It has come to the point where soap, toliet paper and other sundries are hard to come by.

So, in my mid-fifties and after having looked for work for over two years, (and now without a way to get to a job) I'm not sure what to ask for.  I have managed to get some medical care to deal with the crushing anxiety and depression which really works against you when you need to be strong and clear.  I can't think of a time when things were this desparate and when problems simply churn around in the head because they demand some solution.  Being isolated and alone most of the time is not helpful, either.  I also have some health issues that are affecting me.

I am aware that many of us are going through crises even worse than mine and that many are on the verge of such.  Relating my situation does help me get it off my chest and caring means a lot to me.  Maybe someone has some way or something to offer?  When it is this far down the hole, what can one expect?  I find myself very frightened by all of this.

I don't mind asking for help, but I don't like to impose on anyone or diminish them.